No matter your background or expertise, your loved one will likely need outside help. When someone with alcohol dependency promises they will never drink again but a short time later are back to drinking as much as always, it is easy to take the broken promises and lies personally. You may think, “If they really love me, they wouldn’t lie to me.” “Self-caring” means that you respect yourself enough to take good care of yourself in healthy and holistic ways such as making sure your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs are met. Once you stop your enabling behaviors, you can then begin to truly help your loved one.
It takes time and repeated effort for new thought and behavioral patterns to replace the old. Being aware of this up front can help all of you summon the patience you will need to travel the path toward recovery. https://ecosoberhouse.com/ Fortunately, there are ways to help an addicted partner and help them recover from their addiction. But it’s important to understand that being in a relationship with an addicted person isn’t healthy.
Loving An Addict (13 Ways To Manage Loving An Addict)
Instead, it’s important to understand what addiction is, and the real ways that you can help an addicted loved one. Loving an addict, whether it’s a parent or child, or you’re in love with an addict romantically, is one of the most difficult things you will likely face in your life. In fact, Step 5 in the program is you admit to God — there’s that word again — and to yourself and another human being the exact nature of your wrongs.
- It may be helpful to start by reflecting on which behaviors or parts of your relationship you’d like to see changed.
- Choose to practice the healthier ways of loving your addicted person.
- Focusing on your own healing can be helpful for detaching.
- “This interruption of functioning is what makes this behavior like an addiction,” Simonian says.
Unfortunately, this usually results in leaving those family members feeling lonely and frustrated. It is important to understand that you might be just as “addicted” to your enabling behaviors as the addict in your life is to his or her manipulations. These kinds of actions on your part will not help your loved one in the long run. It is your responsibility to recognize and “own” your unhelpful behaviors, and to get professional help in doing this if necessary. Learning how to deal with reality is the most important first step in “surviving” when you love an addicted person. Although it may seem easier to stay in the “fantasy space” where you can continue to believe that things are going to magically get better, there is no such magic.
When Is It Time to Consider Leaving a Drug Addict You Love?
Are you wondering how to help a loved one with a drug or alcohol problem? Our counselors are available 24/7 to listen and answer loving an addict questions. You never want to do for an addict what they can do for themselves, so if you do things for them, that’s enabling.
Anybody battling with drugs or alcohol abuse is most likely to have mental health issues and physical or communication problems as the case may be. Their family members, children, and friends are also likely to suffer this as well. Addiction starts with a choice—a choice to use a drug or take a drink.